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Hey charlie, is the search done for you?
Short answer … yes and no.
REAL short answer … NO.
Accurate answer: There is no seeker, never was. (Bullshit. But really lovely bullshit!)
Does exist. Cannot be expressed.
So Spirit has grabbed me by the ass today and sat me in front of this stupid laptop and pecks away. This will go on as long as it does and whatever appears here will be MORE bullshit.
OK? Ohhh … kay … here is my Bullshit Long Answer:
See, I spoke earlier today with a guy who has been reading and listening to "Advaita Teachers" for a while now. He called to talk about the "Understanding" or "Enlightenment" ... whatever label one likes ... and I told him that so far as I am concerned, I am not "enlightened," and that there are no "Enlightened people." He liked that … hell, he’s a New Yorker. Certain lack of bullshit in that culture, ya know whaddimean?”
Here is my take on this spiritual trip: There are people who seek "Self Realization" or "Ultimate Understanding" ... been there done that. Got dozens of trophy pictures. And mantras. And practices. And a zillion books. I throw ‘em all out or give ‘em away, then buy the same goddam books again! Duh. (But wait … WHO “does” all that?”) Oh geezus MORE Advaita-speak! * I * freakin’ do that!
But what the hell … of course I believe in free will. See, I have no choice in the matter!
There are other people who seek for years and reach an understanding that, to paraphrase, "I am nothing." But there still is, sometimes at least, someone who thinks or believes he or she is Nothing. Lot's of so-called "Satsang Teachers" have that one going ... also been there and done that.
Then there are some famous saints or sages, like Ramana Maharshi or Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj. Buddha. Jesus. Shirdi Sai Baba. The Real Deal. At least so I believe! But they are dead, so we can't go "get what they got." So some of us go walk around their statues or tombs or the mountain they called their Guru, and worship that as the guru. Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. Even got a little $150 (!) statue of one’ a’ these dead assholes!
How about sincere devotees of LIVING "Sages / Saints /Gurus" (say, like the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, or Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, or Sri Sri Ravi Shankar? Or various "downline" Sages or Wannabe sages from their "traditions?" Or the DEAD ONE’S traditions? Been there done that got the orange clothes and the red dot. The fat belly and the suspenders. The Sanskrit vocabulary.
Or worse yet, how about them sincere devotees of apparent "Saint/Sage/Gurus" who then got totally crazy and did/do things like have sex with children, or bug the shit outta their followers for money, and build huge monuments to themselves in one way or another? And they keep justifying that crap by saying, “Oh, it’s ALL just the Play of the Oneness, the Totality.” The truth (even if true) does not justify a goddam thing. Advaita? NO. Bullcrap.
Then there are the deluded dream characters who are very articulate and have brilliant clarity and express the non Dual Teachings with eloquence, wit and wisdom AND with whom their acolytes or followers rave about the "CLEAR POINTING" and subtly keep their dream-self alive by worshiping them in some way or another. Been there done that played that game no joy in mudville.
Then finally there are people who seem to have "Become Liberated" or who no longer have any sense of being an entity. But how the hell can we ... as dreamed characters that are sleepwalking through "life" ... know who or where or what they really are?
There seems to be no “reliable test” for who is authentic and who is not. See, some very good hearted, sincere, caring people end up talking about this stuff and sharing what they have come to understand or realize or “see.” But in so many cases, there is still a “person” with a (sometimes very subtle) hidden agenda … he or she wants “you” to “get” what “they” know. These are the ones who are so good at pretending that they even fool themselves! At least for a while.
Been there done that got the burned bridges and emotional scars!
But ultimately, the clear space of the One TRUE Self must reveal that there are tendencies that remain, in the organism. Call it conditioning, or programming, or ego, there is still a subtle little feeling-sense of a separate me, where the True Sages see NO separation.
Self has done that here (in the charlie organism) a number of times. People cringe, then shrug. Whaddya gonna do? Rocks are hard, water’s wet, and the dance is the dance. It IS as it IS.
Anyway… while chatting with my friend this morning, what came out of my mouth was the truth as it is “for me”. I said, yes, I still have a “me” sense. Granted it is faded and hardly believed in any more, but … or perhaps AND … it still shows up. Tony Parsons calls this an (apparent) process that happens over (apparent) time. He makes a distinction: In concepts, “Awakening” (clear seeing followed by falling for the lies of the mind-ego that “I” that still exist (or seems to) as an entity) and Liberation” (at which pointless point there is literally nobody home. ) in the latter there IS NO separation, no entity, no creation, no dissolution, just The One, Awake, seeing its dream AS a dream.)
So the long answer to the question, is the search over here, is … sometimes. And that ain’t hay. Life is a helluva lot more peaceful (less mental chatter, more clear seeing) … but it is understood here that this state of affairs, while pleasant and peaceful, is NOT the “Final Understanding” as Ramesh Balsekar has called it, or “Liberation” as Tony calls it, or “Final Truth” as Ramana Maharshi dubbed it, or “Awakening to the Dream” as Leo Hartong puts it, or “Nobody Home” as Jan Kerschott puts it. Or “The Natural State” (which I understand as NO state at all) as quite a few are putting it these days.
So there is deep comprehension of these “spiritual concepts/precepts” here. So what? So nothing. That and three bux gets ya a fancy cuppa coffee. Or if ya like Indian gurus, Chai! The “Understanding” the Sages point to has got nothing to do with comprehension!
The search has ended for charlie in that there are no questions that the “Teachings” don’t spontaneously answer. So there are really NO questions any more. And I understand perfectly, as wonderful guys like “Sailor Bob and Nathan Gill point out, that all there is is space, and in the space stories arise. Then the Me which is itself a story keeps believing it is real, an entity, THEN believes that IT is enlightened and now can “show others the way home.” It becomes one of those deluded dream-toy puppets, one of many a dream character who is very articulate and has brilliant clarity and express the non Dual Teachings with eloquence, wit and wisdom. But as Tony Parsons tries to remind us, CLARITY HAS NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH AWAKENING, OR LIBERATION.
LOOK … IF all there is, is Oneness, who the hell is there to show anyone and who the hell is there to be shown?!? “We has met the enemy and he is US.” (Comic strip character Pogo, by Walt Kelly.)
So who to listen to? Who to trust? Who to believe? Who to follow? NO ONE. Trusting, following, talking, believing, awakening, liberation … like the tides coming in and out, happen when they happen. If at all. And, I hear tell, they happen to no one. No person!
A former friend, the outrageous Wayne Liquorman (who kicked me out of his Satsang, thank God), puts it this way: “This process is like having sex with a 500 pound gorilla. You ain’t done till the gorilla’s done.” In other words, you and me, we is SCREWED.
So: Let’s you and me go have a cuppa coffee or a martini or a brewskie and see if there’s any good lookin’ single women around who wanna get frisky tonight. Since I have had more gurus than girl friends, I got some catching up to do!
Meanwhile, if you still believe there is someone to awaken and someone who is awake, you can explore the various Teaching expressions linked on this site. There are a few (VERY few) that I now trust based on my own direct experience. But that does NOT mean that if you see or hear or meet them or read their divine bullshit, that you will get whatever the hell it is that is happening here to the charlie machinery.
Some ARE the Real Deal. Who are they? You gotta figure that out for your Self, bubba.
So Seek On. Go ahead. You have no choice but to “exercise your free will.” Just don’t get any on the walls.
I WILL give you ONE hint: Read “Perfect Brilliant Stillness” by David Carse.
Meanwhile I may add to or change or edit this master(bation)piece … but the urge is POST IT so here it comes, ready or not.
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